Contemplation: my brains worst enemy

I was so bummed out tonight. i don't understand why people break plans, further more, why people break plans by not answering their phones. i am an overly-anxious, depressed girl.. i have no troubles admitting to that, and thats why this sucks so fricking bad.. i look at this situation and i know that it is not that bad.. but when one little thing bums me out it takes every happy emotion out of me. i can't even function normally right now because i am so emotionally distraught .. it could be because i haven't seen my best friend in months because either we have randomly been avoiding eachother.. and then we make plans to hang out tonight.. we made these plans like four days ago and i followed up on them every single day.. and then when i call her she doesnt answer.. twice.. and when i call her boyfriend, who she's with, he answers and then says that he'll tell her that i called and i still don't get a call back.. i wonder if she even feels bad.. because i don't think she even realizes how bad she's made me feel. i know i should just get over it and move on.. but i can't do that.. and that pisses me off even more.
but my exterior will be over it.. soo merry christmas everyone.. with sad sad smiles and tears of plastered joy.
Megan