The Past Is Real

So i was going through my closet today because my family is having yet another garage sale coming up here in a bit.. anyway I'm an avid Journal person.. not only online but on paper also ;) lol. See this is how it goes.. I get journals all of the time for my birthday's and such and I'll keep a journal for about a month.. maybe two and then i'll get bored and i'll just stick it in my closet and then the next time i get a journal as a gift i start that one and then stick it in my closet.. u know a continuous neverending cycle

so i was looking through my closet and i found this journal that i'd kept when i was like 11 and i read it and it was so cute! i was such a loser! it talks about boys that i think are cute and whatever and it's just funny to read it.. and then the last page was me when i was 15 and it was like "hey .. well i found this and thought i'd update... i'm 15 now! can you believe it!" lol and i just looked at that and had to have a giggle.. lol it's like reading someone elses journal.. everything is so weird because i don't remember writing that stuff! and now, being a big bad 18 year old i wrote in it again.. and stored it away.. to later find it and have another little giggle.

Then i found ANOTHER journal! my journal from the begining of two summers ago! aww that was fun to read! because it wasn't that long away yet i still didn't remember writing it so it was just fun to see how much fun i had that summer.. it's like so happy that it makes me sad.. you know that it's already gone.. ne way i found a letter that i wrote to myself this summer it was like "don't let people get you down, i know your emotions are fragile but you can beat them. They don't mean that they don't like you you just take it that way. Look forward and be happy every second you can. don't hide your emotions either.. they are fragile but you are strong, if they break you can fix them. i'm proud of you and i know you will do well" I wrote it to myself.. it's so weird.. but it was nice.. to know that i had such a good grasp on my emotions at some point in time and it just really reminded me that i need to try to get that back because it's time.. i've had enough hiding.. it's time. it pretty much made my day to know that I (16) was proud of me now (18) and even though it is the dumbest thing that i could have ever written.. it meant a lot.. like someone else was saying it.. but it was me.. so it almost means more.. hmm well those are just some thoughts

and yes i am keeping a journal on paper now.. ;) that won't last long tho.